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from newsoftheweird.com

Least competent criminals

This Getaway Plan Works Better in July: James Jett, 33, was arrested in Blount County, Tenn., in February after attempting to evade police by jumping into the Little River and submerging all but his face. However, the high temperature that day was only 36 degrees (F), and by the time he was discovered, he was suffering from hypothermia.

Daily Times (Maryville, Tenn.), 2-28-08

Recurring themes

People continue to purposely maim themselves in various schemes. Daniel Kuch allegedly had a friend shoot him in the shoulder so he could get time off work (and was arrested for telling police that it was a drive-by) [Pasco, Wash., February].

Chicago Sun-Times-AP, 3-1-08