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speakup

SUSSEX -

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Communication is the key to a good relationship with your children, and talking about the Internet is vital to their safety.

That was the message at a parent information session on Internet safety at Sussex Regional High School March 31. School District 6 technology mentor Mike MacPherson and RCMP Cst. Denis Milette presented their views on how to make the Internet a safe place to spend time. About two dozen parents attended.

"Not everyone online is a horrible, mutant monster who wants to grab you and your children," said Milette. "It is possible to actually meet nice people on the Internet."

Nevertheless, there are precautions both parents and kids should take to ensure their online experiences are good ones. MacPherson used this quote from a teenager to illustrate both the pros and cons of the Internet:

"Doing your homework on the Internet is so great because it's like going to the biggest library in the world right at your desk, but it's also hard because the building that has the world's biggest library also has the world's biggest game room, the world's biggest porn store, the world's biggest casino, the world's biggest mall and the world's biggest lounge. Sometimes I don't make it to the library."

Five Internet issues

MacPherson has come up with five Internet issues to watch for: predators, inappropriate content, Internet addiction, computer viruses and cyberbullying, and spoke on each one.

"Actually, few offenders lie about being young and don't hide their intentions," said MacPherson. "So kids go off knowing what's in store. Meetings and sex are most often voluntary."

Even so, sharing your name, address, age, sex, photo, phone number, hobbies and banking information are all bad ideas, he said.

A good test to discover what the world might already have discovered about you via the web is to google your name, your kids' names, your address, or your telephone number in quotation marks to limit irrelevant responses.

Inappropriate contest isn't just pornography, but can include images of violence, hate groups, extremist material, illegal activities and even unwelcome advertising. For example, in researching the holocaust, you're bound to come across hate literature.

"Only a small fraction of material on the Internet could reasonably be classified as inappropriate for children," said MacPherson. "Unfortunately, that small fraction is highly visible and controversial."

He suggested using parental control software and teaching kids to learn how to use the back button when they find inappropriate content, and he reminded parents that sometimes kids make those discoveries quite innocently.

MacPherson said he used to laugh about the concept of Internet addiction, but "now it's getting bad."

Those at risk are children described as shy, bored, lonely, unsupervised, and socially isolated.

"It's like any other addiction some are prone to it, so lay down simple rules about time spent online, and encourage their other interests," he said.

MacPherson rates cyberbullying as one of the most frustrating issues arising from Internet use, because there is little that can be done about it and these bullies reach far beyond the playground.

"It's going to get worse before it gets better and it really scares me," he said. "The old-fashioned bully would beat you up, but he didn't follow you home and go into your own bedroom."

He advised parents to tell their children never to respond to or agree to meet a cyberbully, and to print off proof of their harassment.

"You really have to talk to your kids, and not just once," he said. "Ask them if this stuff is happening."

Research shows bullying is more likely to stop when a peer or adult has gotten involved, he said.

The good and bad about Facebook

Cst. Milette is the District 3 RCMP technology expert because before he joined the force, he worked in the computer industry.

He echoed MacPherson's theme of communicating with your children about their Internet use.

"The issue of the Internet and your children isn't your kids it's you. Sorry, but it is," he said. "You wouldn't let them play on the street unsupervised, why let them play on the Internet unsupervised?"

He urged parents to learn about the Internet, even from their own children, since they probably know much more about it than their parents.

He cautioned parents, and their children, to be stingy when it comes to posting information on social networking sites like Facebook. When signing up, the only information you must give is your name, email address, and date of birth. As well, only allow your full profile to be seen by those you trust, and keep your limited profile, a Facebook option, for everyone else.

Milette took a long time in deciding to finally get a Facebook page, but when did, he discovered Facebook already had three photos of him on other people's sites, one of which was of him in his underwear. "I had no idea that photo existed," he said, adding a camera phone was the culprit and his friend agreed to remove it.

"If I had not been on Facebook, I would never have known," he said, which illustrated an important point.

"To see Facebook you have to have an account," he said, encouraging parents to open an account so they can see their children's Facebook sites.

Milette summed up his presentation this way: "If you have an open and honest relationship with your son or daughter, it will resolve 99 per cent of problems. It's true in law enforcement and it's true in families as well."